take a look at my short documentry
take a look at my short documentry
As a new member, "but life-long film/video enthusiast" I'd like the members of the forum to take a look at a short video I have produced about a freind of mine who has "special needs" I would like members feedback negative or good. I have it on my facebook (to long at under 16 minutes for youtube. http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=ho ... ef=profile you may have to add me as a freind, (not sure)
Re: take a look at my short documentry
Was it that bad ? no one has made a commentRe: take a look at my short documentry
I have a Face Book account but cannot access your documentary, I assume people have to sign up as friends to view.
ned c
ned c
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Mike Shaw
Re: take a look at my short documentry
That is the problem ... I already have an loads of (actual) friends and didn't want to add unecessarily to the list - sorry!
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Dave Watterson
- Posts: 1879
- Joined: Sun Jan 28, 2007 11:11 pm
- Location: Bath, England
- Contact:
Re: take a look at my short documentry
Hi Cozmoss,
I am a Facebook member and did become your friend in order to see the movie. Do consider joining http://www.vimeo.com/and uploading it there where many more people can see it without the hassle of getting involved with Facebook etc. A lot of IAC members have films on Vimeo.
Oh - and your film is actually around 11.5 minutes - the last 5 minutes seem to be black video!
But to the movie ...
There are a number of films which look at how people with various learning difficulties cope in our modern world. You show us the very pleasant John, who is a conscientious cleaner and an apparently cheerful man. This is no child, but an older man who lived with his father until the dad died not long ago. You don't say so but it is clear his friends worried about whether or not he could cope on his own.
You present a day in his life where he cleans house, tends to his father's grave, arranges to pay a gas-bill ... and talks to this nosy film-maker (!). All of this is very clearly shown and the sound recording is good.
A couple of practical points:
a) be careful about eyelines ... try to stay always at or slightly below John's eyeline otherwise the camera seems to be looking down on him - and as those words suggest such a view makes us think he is not as good as we (the audience) are.
b) think how your choice of shots will seem to an audience who do not know what happened that day. It looks as if he went twice to the cemetery, but I doubt if that was really what happened.
c) Using the Penguin Cafe Orchestra's music won me over immediately - I've been a fan for decades!
d) I liked the way you set up the phone calls John makes to the friend who helps him. Since you had each man in shot and with a microphone clipped in place, it is clear you recreated this conversation at the friend's end. But as the audience we do not mind that little trick, because the content of the call is interesting. (I do find it a shade worrying that the friend helping him with money has to work out slowly how many 10p pieces make up 80p.) But they all seem to make it work.
e) It is probably a good idea to choose either to make an interview - with both your voice and John's throughout - or to use what he says prompted by your questions and cut out all your questions so that he seems to be talking to the camera as he might to a friend. You mix both styles.
f) finally - watch your spelling on captions!
When it began I was worried you might seem to be exploiting John, taking advantage of his condition to make an intrusive, personal film. Far from it. It became clear quickly that you are celebrating John's ability to get by in our modern world.
Keep up the good work.
My own favourite film of this type is the Oscar winning documentary "Best Boy" by Ira Wohl. Every time I have introduced this film to an audience, they have ended up asking to see its sequel "Best Man". That is how involved you get with the main character.
- Dave
I am a Facebook member and did become your friend in order to see the movie. Do consider joining http://www.vimeo.com/and uploading it there where many more people can see it without the hassle of getting involved with Facebook etc. A lot of IAC members have films on Vimeo.
Oh - and your film is actually around 11.5 minutes - the last 5 minutes seem to be black video!
But to the movie ...
There are a number of films which look at how people with various learning difficulties cope in our modern world. You show us the very pleasant John, who is a conscientious cleaner and an apparently cheerful man. This is no child, but an older man who lived with his father until the dad died not long ago. You don't say so but it is clear his friends worried about whether or not he could cope on his own.
You present a day in his life where he cleans house, tends to his father's grave, arranges to pay a gas-bill ... and talks to this nosy film-maker (!). All of this is very clearly shown and the sound recording is good.
A couple of practical points:
a) be careful about eyelines ... try to stay always at or slightly below John's eyeline otherwise the camera seems to be looking down on him - and as those words suggest such a view makes us think he is not as good as we (the audience) are.
b) think how your choice of shots will seem to an audience who do not know what happened that day. It looks as if he went twice to the cemetery, but I doubt if that was really what happened.
c) Using the Penguin Cafe Orchestra's music won me over immediately - I've been a fan for decades!
d) I liked the way you set up the phone calls John makes to the friend who helps him. Since you had each man in shot and with a microphone clipped in place, it is clear you recreated this conversation at the friend's end. But as the audience we do not mind that little trick, because the content of the call is interesting. (I do find it a shade worrying that the friend helping him with money has to work out slowly how many 10p pieces make up 80p.) But they all seem to make it work.
e) It is probably a good idea to choose either to make an interview - with both your voice and John's throughout - or to use what he says prompted by your questions and cut out all your questions so that he seems to be talking to the camera as he might to a friend. You mix both styles.
f) finally - watch your spelling on captions!
When it began I was worried you might seem to be exploiting John, taking advantage of his condition to make an intrusive, personal film. Far from it. It became clear quickly that you are celebrating John's ability to get by in our modern world.
Keep up the good work.
My own favourite film of this type is the Oscar winning documentary "Best Boy" by Ira Wohl. Every time I have introduced this film to an audience, they have ended up asking to see its sequel "Best Man". That is how involved you get with the main character.
- Dave
Re: take a look at my short documentry
Thankyou dave, I take all your comments on board and I am
really pleased you took the trouble to watch my effort at a
documentry.
I will be adding both "Johns story" and futer efforts on that
website you mentioned.
Once agin Dave, Thankyou.
really pleased you took the trouble to watch my effort at a
documentry.
I will be adding both "Johns story" and futer efforts on that
website you mentioned.
Once agin Dave, Thankyou.