IAC DISCUSSION FORUMS

Rita has asked me to put the following messages on this forum:-

‘I would like to thank everyone for all the support and encouragement they
gave to Malcolm during his illness. He was immensely touched by everyone
and it certainly was a roller-coaster ride. The last four months got very
difficult as Malcolm was slowly deteriorating.
I have been so grateful to Pendleside Hospice for all the kindness and devotion
given to Malcolm during the last 14 weeks of his life.
They also gave me the support, as there were several occasions when I found
it hard to cope with the situation. They gave me the strength to face things
when I knew, eventually, that the time would come.
Sadly, Malcolm passed away peacefully at 6.10 am on the 9th October and I
was at his bedside.
Lastly, I would like to thank everyone most sincerely for the kind expressions
of sympathy, cards of condolence and donations to Pendleside Hospice.
Malcolm said at the beginning of his illness that he would fight it till
the end and he certainly did.
I feel so proud.’ Rita Whiteley.

Rita also asked that Mal’s last message to her be appended. It was on a
floppy made on 28th January, i.e. four or five months before his last (third)
diagnosis of cancer.

Hi Angel.
Just thought that I might get the last word in, all my life I looked for
someone like you. And when I did find true love it was for just a short time.
But never mind Rita, what love we found together was worth a lifetime.
You never ever let me down in anything, you were always there to kick my
ass if I did things wrong, and you were always there to guide me through
life. I could never have found anyone as loving and caring as you. I was
so happy to be with you, even at the end I could not be parted from you.
I never wanted to go up Colne or on walks without you, I had so much love
for you it hurt, and hurt bad.
Please Angel, get on with life. There is so much left for you to do, grab
as much enjoyment as you can, you have earned it and deserve it for all you
have done for me. You were so inspirational for me and made me tackle life
so positively with fortitude and humour. You taught me to accept what life
threw at me and never to seek sympathy.
There can never be anybody like you, you have always said there was a light
at the end of the tunnel, yes there is. I will be waiting for you at the
end; we will be together someday Angel. I could go on forever, but I won’t
I will just leave you with my favourite piece.

You were there when I really needed you. I will never forget you, your ever
present love held me; you dried my tears and carried me through. I will treasure
your devotion and support for ever. You were my inspiration. Thank-you to
my darling angel.
Thank-you Rita………… for everything.

Thank you Peter for passing on these touching messages.

We lose friends and colleagues every year, but unless they are family or
specially close, marking the loss is a quiet, private thing. Mal's case is
different. Partly through his contributions to this forum and partly through
his films about the illness, Malcolm was very special to many of us. We knew
what he had been going through.

After reading that posting I spent some time wondering if I would have the
courage and presience to send such messages into the future, when I knew
the end was approaching.

His illness made him angry, irrational, sometimes rude and even cruel. It
might have soured his relationship with those closest to him, especially
Rita. Luckily they were made of sterner stuff, realised what was happening
and stuck by him. How wonderful that after all of those months, this message
reminds them of the real Malcolm and how much he really cared.

For the best film makers I often advocate breaking away from their usual
style and making films that are powerful with emotion. Here's one topic that
has such force. Could anyone tackle it seriously?

And thanks too, Peter, for following up with a message on the current topic
to help us move on. Mal's last words to us are a semi-colon, not a full stop.


Dave